There are a number of young men out there, currently facing charges connected to their actions in a police pro-active sex sting. One thing that has been a reoccurring theme in these cases is that the accused don’t want to, or are told not to, talk about it.
In our case, we never believed Jace would be found guilty. When Jace was questioned, after he was arrested, the police said ‘ you’re in a lot of trouble’. To which Jace replied “no I’m not”. Not because he felt he was above the law, and not because he thought he could ‘get away’ with what he had done – but simply and truly because he knew he had not done anything wrong.
There are a lot of you out there, who feel this same way, that you have done nothing wrong. I am here to tell you you’re right. Many of you did absolutely nothing wrong. I believe you, as I believed Jace.
Yet from the moment you are arrested the intent of everyone you will meet and talk to is to keep you quite.
You will resist telling your friends, family, coworkers because of the shame associated with being connected to these charges in any way. It doesn’t seem to matter that you did nothing wrong. You can’t even start to explain yourself, before you can see others start to question what you are saying. So, often, you choose to say nothing – hoping this huge mistake will all just go away!
Then you meet and retain a lawyer. The person who will save you from all this. The person who says they understand, that the police are overreaching, that the judge will see the truth and they are exactly the person to show them. For a big fat fee. But, in the name of confidentiality, don’t talk to any press, police, attorneys, etc.
You get to your trial, pumped with indignation. Ready for the fight of your life, and you give it your all. The judge will look at you and see your lips moving but… Pertinent data will go missing, or be squashed as inadmissible. The judge will tell you that vital pieces of this puzzle don’t matter. The prosecutors will twist your words and create alternate realities. And still, you will not be heard.
For those of us who refuse to keep quite, who scream from the mountain tops about these injustices, tactics, corruption…. we find that the public turns away from us. They don’t want to hear it, can’t comprehend us, unable to believe such things are possible. I think this is the biggest gag order there is. It’s not self imposed, it’s not requested, it’s not twisted.
This gag order comes from our own society, whose blind indifference tries to break your spirit. And your heart.