My son leaves for Shelton tomorrow.
My sister tells me I sound better now than before or right after the sentencing. I think that’s because sentencing relieved the situation I had been sitting in for the last six months. I am pragmatic by nature. Solving puzzles is what I do for a living as a computer programmer. I am relieved that I have a goal to reach now, and a time frame for which to do it in – one more year to get through this next phase.
But like so many things in life, the ending of one thing is just the beginning of another. My stress is relieved about the sentencing. We failed. But we received one of the lowest prison sentences given to date on these atrocities. I’m trying to find a phrase to say it is a decent outcome to a bad situation, but really it’s not. There is no decency in sending an innocent young man to prison. To be marked with, as my friend Ara says, a scarlet letter for the rest of his life. Yet I am relieved. I know so many get more time. How that’s even legal or possible my mind can not fathom.
My son leaves for Shelton tomorrow.
“Hi honey – i know i just saw you, and you know how very much i love you, but i also know you are scared- as would i be in your shoes. It is OK to be scared. Know that I am right there beside you, whispering guidance and comfort in your ear. You and your brother are the most important things to me. I would be nothing without your love. Be strong. Make me proud with both your strength and compassion. Stand tall and speak the truth, as always.
Every breath I have I would gladly give for you.
LULAR”
LULAR is our secret acronym. Unique to my eldest and me, like our crab dance, ‘interesting’ comments, and all the secret jokes of 22 years of life and love.
This is the last message I have texted my son. We’ve texted nearly daily for the last six months through Telmate. We are not sure what happens next. Will we text daily still? Can I visit him more often in prison than jail? Can I hold him, hug him, kiss him, now that there is no window between our visits? Will he be safe? Please God, says the Atheist, keep my son safe.
My son leaves for Shelton tomorrow.
I plan to leave on December 16th, if everything works out correctly, to be nearer my son for the next year. I will be alone on Christmas, and New Years.
Please text me warm wishes on those holidays, I will need them all.
The Lady Justice Myth 
I am not religious, but I am very spiritual. I am a strong believer in prayer. I continue to pray for Jace and you because I truly do believe it helps and even more so, because your story has truly touched me.
Jace is very lucky to have you. I love how you are doing everything you can (and have done everything you can) to make the best out of a bad and very unfair situation for your son. Your bond with him will be stronger than ever.
Jace will come out of this stronger than ever too. He’s learned that this world is unfair and having people working in our system who have no business working in these positions is far more common than we ever knew before.
The scariest thing I heard from a court appointed attorney is, “Truth is relative.” That was a real eye opener for me. Some people realty don’t believe in absolute truths. That means they can choose to believe whatever they want and make out anything to be whatever they want. That’s fine, if your beliefs are not affecting anyone else. However, it’s a very dangerous thing when people you are applying it to others, especially people working in our system who have so much power over other people’s lives. They can choose to believe whatever they want, and apply it to others as they wish. This is a very scary thing. That is why I say mental health/psychological screenings should be a requirement for people in these positions. There are too many people working in our system who are choosing to believe opposites of absolute truths, and they are damaging lives. Something needs to be done about this.
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